Billy: I've got a pubic hair caught in my throat. I'm choking.
Emma: Are you OK?
Billy: I'm having a coughing fit. I'm turning all red.
Emma: Can I help?
Billy: I'm running to the kitchen, choking wildly. I'm fumbling through the cabinets, looking for a cup. Where do you keep your cups?
Emma: In the cabinet to the right of the sink.
Billy: I'm drinking a cup of water. There, that's better.
Emma: Come back to me, lover.
Billy: I'm washing the cup now.
Emma: I'm on the bed arching for you.
Billy: I'm drying the cup. Now I'm putting it back in the cabinet. And now I'm walking back to the bedroom. Wait, it's dark, I'm lost. Where's the bedroom?
Emma: Last door on the left at the end of the hall.
Billy: I found it.
Emma: I'm tuggin' off your pants. I'm moaning. I want you so badly.
Billy: Me too.
Emma: Your pants are off. I kiss you passionately-our naked bodies pressing each other.
Billy: Your face is pushing my glasses into my face. It hurts.
Emma: Why don't you take off your glasses?
Billy: OK, but I can't see very well without them. I place the glasses on the night table.
Emma: I'm bending over the bed. Give it to me, baby!
Billy: I have to pee. I'm fumbling my way blindly across the room and toward the bathroom.
Emma: Hurry back, lover.
Billy: I find the bathroom and it's dark. I'm feeling around for the toilet. I lift the lid.
Emma: I'm waiting eagerly for your return.
Billy: I'm done going. I'm feeling around for the flush handle, but I can't find it. Uh-oh!
Emma: What's the matter now?
Billy: I've realized that I've peed into your laundry hamper. Sorry again. I'm walking back to the bedroom now, blindly feeling my way.
Emma: Mmm, yes. Come on.
Billy: OK, now I'm going to put my...you know ...thing...in your...you know...woman's thing.
Emma: Yes! Do it, baby! Do it!
Billy: I'm touching your smooth butt. It feels so nice. I kiss your neck. Umm, I'm having a little trouble here.
Emma: I'm moving my ass back and forth, moaning. I can't stand it another second! Slide in! Screw me now!
Billy: I'm flaccid.
Emma: What?
Billy: I'm limp. I can't sustain an erection.
Emma: I'm standing up and turning around; an incredulous look on my face.
Billy: I'm shrugging with a sad look on my face, my weiner all floppy. I'm going to get my glasses and see what's wrong.
Emma: No, never mind. I'm getting dressed. I'm putting on my underwear. Now I'm putting on my wet nasty blouse.
Billy: No wait! Now I'm squinting, trying to find the night table. I'm feeling along the dresser, knocking over cans of hair spray, picture frames and your candles.
Emma: I'm buttoning my blouse. Now I'm putting on my shoes.
Billy: I've found my glasses. I'm putting them on. My God! One of our candles fell on the curtain. The curtain is on fire! I'm pointing at it, a shocked look on my face.
Emma: Go to hell. I'm logging off, you loser!
Billy: Now the carpet is on fire! Oh noooo!
Emma: <logged off>
|